the holiday shuffle

Ah, the holidays. I never know the right thing to do with the two-house shuffle. There's my mom and Gary, her boyfriend/significant other, and their Thanksgiving dinner, complete with turkey, stuffing, pies of all sorts, and assorted offspring and friends. Then there's my dad: my stepmom is spending Thanksgiving up in Kentucky with family, and I guess felt okay about leaving my dad behind, who couldn't get out of work, so my dad is alone on Thanksgiving. Except that he has to work until about 6pm that day, and the feast at Mom & Gary's starts at 7pm. There was this whole run-around about Thanksgiving dinner with my dad: I felt bad for him and somehow agreed to cook the feast myself for him, myself, Jason, and my brother for that afternoon, then try and scoot over to Mom & Gary's place before 7pm to break bread with them. Only now that's not going to work, and like petulant children, neither parent is willing to sacrifice Thanksgiving dinner with me on the actual blessed day itself to accommodate the other. Naturally.

And then, if we do manage to work the whole two Thanksgiving feast arrangement out, there's the issue of the two meals. Let's face it: there's a reason why serving "tofurky", low-fat stuffing, and healthful fare produces gales of disbelieving laughter or twisted, grossed-out faces. And the Wise Gods of Weight Watchers tell me to just adjust my portions to fit it all in, but come on, how realistic or obvious will it be when I reach for only 1/4 cup of stuffing (my favorite)? Or pass up on the array of desserts? It makes me look unnecessarily pious and martyred, seems to make other people think I am judging them for their overflowing plates when I am, in fact, eyeing their generous portions greedily, wishing I had done the same... and in the end, I'm hungry as a cow and miserable, with everyone making remarks about my weight, my diet, how "good" I am, which only serves to remind me how freaking hungry I am. I can get away with normal (aka generous) portions with one meal of the week, but two?

While trying to work out this crazy two-house holiday whirl, I'm also trying to come to terms with what seems most realistic: that I will have not one but two very delicious, non-lowfat and very sugar-laden meals, and I will likely not lose any weight this week. In fact, I'll probably go up a few pounds. Which, theoretically, is just fine: I think someone told me that the average American packs on 10 pounds each holiday season that never comes off, so I think even a minor setback won't deter my good progress so far. But then there's that horribly perfectionistic version of myself inside my brain, the one that I am often compelled to listen to, the one that wants to have the perfect track record, even throughout the holidays (isn't she remarkable? Losing weight even during the holidays! My my!). I'm slowly learning to tell her to just sod off and let me be.