dreams do come true

Today was my first day at work as a graduate nurse at ORMC. It was a little surreal at first, walking onto the floor in navy blue scrubs. Up until now, I'd been working as a student nurse (in my awful student uniform scrubs) or as a tech (clad in maroon or teal blue). Wearing navy was a tangible, visible sign that I had graduated to a whole new level of employment. I've dreamed of wearing navy scrubs for years now, of finally seeing my long-held dream come true. However, once I got on the floor, I spent the day doing just paperwork, computer work, watching orientation videos... no actual patient care. And so, it was easy to forget that I'd begun a new role in an otherwise familiar environment.

I met Jason at Moe's after work for some queso love - there ain't none better, folks - and since it was both two minutes from our church AND kids' night, it was like a Tuesday night Grace Fellowship gathering, topped with pico de gallo. We ran into a family from the church; Jason had met them before, so he introduced me and we all exchanged the usual pleasantries about where we live and what we do. The wife, Jamie, asks me what I did at the hospital, and without a pause, I replied, "I'm a nurse." And it hit me, right after I said that, as Jamie was asking me where in the hospital I worked, that I am, in fact, a nurse. Granted, I could have done my usual routine where I introduced myself not as a nurse but as a graduate nurse, gone into the long explanation of what that term meant, and explained that once I took my boards, I would be a real registered nurse. But I didn't. I simply said "nurse". It gave me little zings up and down my spine. I felt proud. I smoothed out my navy blue scrubs and stood just a little taller.

And as I drove home from dinner, speaking those words aloud reminded me how faithful and good God is. I find that even among my Christian friends and family, the credit is so often given to my perseverance, my hard work, my ambition, my intelligence, my sacrifice. And yet, I wouldn't be feeling the warm glow of today without Him. For lots of reasons I'll keep a mystery, life has been rough lately, rough in ways that have made me doubt the presence of a God who loves me intimately and has plans for my good and prosperity. I still face more hurdles, most notably the hurdle of board examinations next Monday, where the worth of my entire nursing education boils down to my critical-thinking skills over a 2-3 hour period. I'll admit it: I'm pretty nervous. I don't want to face the possibility of failure, or worse yet, how that possible failure might further shake my already-shaken faith. But then in the middle of all these trials and nerves, there's a rock-solid reminder of how far He's carried me, how solid and unshakable He is, how much He loves me.

It's my navy blue scrubs.