apolitical

I've never been really big into politics. This statement will likely horrify my brother, the politics major and die-hard Republican. But it's true. And he probably already knows it anyway. He still thinks I'm awesome.

There are several reasons why, when confronted with all the primary coverage on the nightly news, my eyes glaze over and I turn the channel to Friends reruns instead. One is that on a most fundamental level, I do not trust any politician. I mean, I'm sure they're nice people and would probably make interesting dinner guests, if the possibility presented itself, but it all seems like a huge popularity contest anyway, and then all those promises? Watered down and lost in the bureaucracy of Washington. I'm not saying I want a dictatorship with one voice only - noooooo - but even the candidate with the best ideals inevitably has to contend with the five bajillion committees and subcommittees to get anything to happen. So, not much happens. Except war and taxes, both of which I don't like.

Second, I hate confrontation. I hate argument. This is why I never even considered law as a career. So, televised debates where candidates rip each other up and argue endlessly? Horrid. Why do they have to resort to tearing each other down? It makes me dislike and distrust them even more.

Third, even when I do know where each candidate stands, I never know how to vote, anyway. My family has been mainly Republican. I voted Republican for many years because I respect my family and their opinions, and I figured they were on to something pretty good. But to be honest, I didn't know what being Republican meant. I thought it was a family thing. So I looked it up. And it turns out that with many issues, I am quite the elephant - views on abortion, war, education - but on others, I'm very, er, donkey - human rights, the environment, healthcare. So, I take this poll the other day - can't remember where I found it, but you can probably Google it - where you bubble in where you stand on different topics (abortion, war funding, affirmative action, etc) and it finds the candidate most similar to your views. I thought, great, this will simplify it. I do the quiz as best as I can, fill in all the little bubbles, and it spits out my results:

Coming in at first place with only a 35% match: John McCain.

Okay, well, he's Republican... so I guess I was good sticking with the Republican party, right? Who's number two?

TYING for first place with a 35% match: Barack Obama.

Um. Okay, but he's a Democrat. Well, I'm open-minded to anything. Who's third?

Coming in a very close third at (no joke) 34%: Hillary Clinton.

Hmmmmmm... and my fourth?

Coming in fourth at (still not joking) 33%: Mike Huckabee.


I give up.


I think that each one of the candidates will have to take me out to dinner and convince me personally. Otherwise, I'm moving to Canada.

PS - I did find these really rockin' Valentine's Day cards. I'm not saying to vote or not to vote for this guy, but these cards are still pretty cool.