facing the music

For Valentime's Day, Jason took me out for the most delicious meal I think I have ever had. I ate steak, potatoes, had sparkling Italian water, and finished it all off with creme brulee. Ohhhhhhh. Every bite was delicious. Then, for about two hours after we left, I thought I was in serious danger of, er, returning it all. There was nothing wrong with the food, for sure, but when you attack it like it's your last meal on this earth, well, it does things to you. Eventually it digested and I started feeling better.

I had vowed earlier in the week to go back to Weight Watchers this weekend. Over the past couple of months, I've let myself go. When I found out I was pregnant, I celebrated with a huge milkshake at Steak N' Shake. When I found out the pregnancy might not have "taken", I got a Value Meal at McDonald's. And when I found out the pregnancy truly was not a go, I bought stock in Hershey's and adopted a what's-the-point attitude about my health. Eventually, the sun started shining a little brighter, and life is slowly bringing joy back. But my fast-food forays are still with me, I'm afraid. I went to Weight Watchers this morning, determined to face the music. The scale sang to me that I had gained TEN pounds. Ouch. Now, I realize some of those pounds (some, not most) are fluid retention pounds I am waiting to pass out of my body. But I still can't rationalize a ten-pound gain in just 7 weeks. That's about a pound and a half a week. Yuck. I gave up eating healthy, running, all those things I was doing to take care of myself. And here I am.

I went running last week and was able to do what I normally do, though it felt considerably harder than it used to. The food thing might be a little harder: I have to be prepared for the carb/sugar detox that usually occurs when I first start these things, and the inevitable 2-3 days of headaches and crankiness. Jason's gonna love this.

So, here I am, not quite back at square one, but definitely feeling the setback. Wakeup calls suck, but at least it's not twenty or more pounds gained back on top of this before I decided to do something, you know?

Here we go!