ready to fly

Tomorrow Jason and I leave on a plane for Denver. I would love to make some eloquent, well-crafted story about how I am so ready for a vacation, but I'm just tired, and I don't think tonight's the night for me to be Jane Austen.

This week has been really rough on me. Rest assured, our baby boy is doing wonderfully, kicking up a storm and being all healthy and baby-like, so yes, he's totally okay. But the rest of me is just trying to recover from a very trying week. Every day, I felt like I was hit with some kind of blow, something that made me feel like the very best of me that I have to offer, what I do best, the core of who I am, was not wanted, rejected, or stomped on and spat at. It's hard to go through a whole week of that and not come out of it feeling pretty lousy, doubting what you thought was your very best to give the world. You might say it was pregnancy hormones, or simply a run of bad luck, but I think I've cried way, way too much this week. You know, the ugly cry of snotty noses, puffy eyes, and popped eardrums. That kind of crying.

I don't tell you this to garner any sympathy - really, I know my mother is reading this, chomping at the bit to leave some sort of encouraging, well-written, uplifting comment on this blog page, and maybe you are, too. But all of it left me drained and feeling less of myself, and this recharge in God's beautiful mountain scenery has never been more necessary. I come out of this week wanting to quit pretty much everything I am a part of except for my marriage (thank God for my husband), and I'd like to come back in a week ready to give it all another shot. I know I never have to travel anywhere to find God, but I'm feeling the call to meet him on the mountaintop for renewal.

Plus, Jason is in possession of a most awesome camera, and I'm hoping to show off some pictures of our travels as the week progresses.

I'll be in touch.