the back-story

So, yes, I've had quite the secret to keep lately, being pregnant and not telling anyone! Jason and I wanted to wait until we were in the safety zone (second trimester with at least one good ultrasound under our belts) before spilling the beans. Here's sort of a recap of the past few months...

(Note: these next few paragraphs make reference to all sorts of things that might make you uncomfortable. Or not. If just knowing that I am pregnant is information enough, then bypass this post. For the curious, the pregnant, and the unfazeable few, here you go:)

We'd had some bad luck trying to become parents in the past. We made an appt for early January to see a fertility specialist, a physician who came highly recommended and who had also struggled through infertility with his own wife. We were looking forward to the appointment, eager for some answers and ready to do whatever we needed to do to make a successful, healthy pregnancy.

Then around the holidays, I start feeling all bloated. Moody. Hormonal. The "girls" were getting kind of sore. And the always-irregular monthly event wasn't showing up like I thought it would. Realize, of course, that Jason and I had not been trying to get pregnant. And Jason would be the first to say that there would be absolutely NO way I could be pregnant, as certain activities are necessary for that to happen, and those activities had not happened (for several reasons) for quite some time. He was sure about that. Definitely not happening.

Well, except for that one time.

And so, we found ourselves staring at two very strong, very pink lines, and wondering out loud, "You've GOT to be kidding me. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Come on." The fertility appt was only about a week and half away at that point, and the very large OB/GYN practice I normally see could never get me in that fast, even with chocolate and bribery, so we decided to keep the appointment, knowing that we could get an ultrasound done there, see if things were okay or not, and go from there. To be perfectly honest, we didn't allow ourselves to get excited: we've had false alarms with positive pregnancy tests before, and if this wasn't meant to be, we didn't want to create an even bigger fall by getting our hopes up. Still, the prenatal vitamins came out of hiding (ugh) and tried to take care of myself.

At the fertility appointment, an amusingly inept medical student took my history ("lymphoma? Lemme see how to spell that...") and talked to me about different options for fertility treatment... and then I told her that I was pretty sure I needed to have an ultrasound because I was pregnant. Her eyes got really, really wide, and I was quickly ushered into the ultrasound room. I met the doctor for the first time with my legs spread wide apart... but I didn't care, because the ultrasound tech was already showing me the strong heartbeat and a squirmy little baby, about 9 weeks along! Jason and I were dumbfounded. And the doctor shook our hands and said that we probably didn't need him anymore ;-)

Fast forward a few weeks, and our second ultrasound showed the same squirmy, bouncy baby, still with the strong heartbeat and perfect everything. We got a due date (Aug 21) and a picture (click here to see) and confirmation that we were going to be parents very, very soon!

Since then, I've been flooded with all sorts of emotions. We told the parents, who were all completely beside themselves with delight. We shared the news with friends, including a select few who had known since the very beginning and had been relentlessly on their knees, praying for us. We kept telling ourselves the good news, mostly in disbelief, then later with much excitement and joy.

And all the nausea, heartburn, soreness, mood swings, and endless doctor visits in the world cannot sway me from knowing that I am absolutely the most blessed woman on earth right now. God is good, all the time.

More updates to come...