Monday may I correct you: its/it's

Okay, I confess: I am a grammar nut. I don't always practice what I preach, especially when blogging, because you will see me start sentences with "and" and "but", end sentences with prepositions, and throw in random slang ("Fo' shizzle") that I have neither the license nor the street cred to use. (See? "Cred." Perfect example.)

And (!) now that I have completely dorked out for you, let me make my original point. Like I mentioned, I don't always write as I should, but I do have some major grammar/wording sticking points, mistakes that, when I see them, stick out like huge red pimples on the nose of prose. Instead of bitching about it, I thought I would share what I know. It's not much, but here goes:

(I sense a blogging series coming on. A short one, I promise. Bear with me.)

Today's lesson: its and it's. Know the difference? Take this short quiz to see:

--The cat swished its/it's tail as it left the room.
--Its/It's such a gorgeous day outside.
--Its/It's silver waterfall scenes are breathtaking.
--Its/It's so dark outside that I cannot see its/it's hand waving at me.
--The bird lifted its/it's wing into the air.

Think you got it? Answers:

--The cat swished its/it's tail as it left the room.
--Its/It's such a gorgeous day outside.
--Its/It's silver waterfall scenes are breathtaking.
--Its/It's so dark outside that I cannot see its/it's hand waving at me.
--The bird lifted its/it's wing into the air.

If you got them all correct, congratulate yourself and go make me some potstickers. I'm hungry.

If you didn't and you want to know how to be the Its/It's pro, read on.

So, how do you know which one to use?

If you are referring to possession, use "its". Yes, I know that's confusing, especially since we are always told to put an -'s at the end of things to make them posssessive: Anne's shoes, Gary's car, the girl's purse, the school's funds. Trust me, though, that "its" falls outside of that rule. This next point might clear it up a bit, too:

"It's" stands for "it is". If you are completely stumped as to whether to use "its" or "it's", ask yourself this: does the sentence still make since if I say "it is" instead of "its"? Example:

Its/it's a beautiful day. Which one to use? Hmmm... "it is" a beautiful day. Yup, still makes sense. The correct one is "it's".

The cat drank its/it's milk. Stumped again! The cat drank "it is" milk. Well, that just sounds unnatural and lame. Must be "its".

Bottom line: if it still makes sense to say "it is" instead of "its/it's", then use the apostrophe. If it sounds completely weird, dump the apostrophe like a bad boyfriend.

Thank you, boys and girls. Let's go out for recess now...