missing you

I missed someone close to my heart for the umpteenth time at church today, and their absence pained me, mostly because I knew that if I asked where that person was, there was going to be the answer of "I'm too busy", "I'm overwhelmed with doing X-Y-Z", and "I'll listen to the message online later."

I can't tell you how much your presence is missed when you're not at church. It's not just a numbers thing, or filling seats, or having more voices to sing together when we're leading worship. It's not about filling your Christian duty, or going just because someone told you to, or a guilt thing, or whatever.

It's because this family, this community of people, well... they miss you. They really do. You are a part of the community. Whether you think your presence makes any impact or not, it does. While I'm always a big believer in active investment into your church community - serving in some way, no matter how trivial the task may seem - sometimes, even just being there is going to touch someone else's heart in a way that lets them see the face of God.

Maybe you see a friend who's having a hard time, and your presence lets them know that they are not alone (and hey, they've got someone to sit with, phew!). Maybe the sight of your worship, your adoration of God, sends a message to someone sitting near you, someone you don't even know, and that person thinks, Wow, I want whatever she's got going on. Maybe it's just that you wore really cool jeans to the service, and someone else is there for the first time, thinking that church had to be a stuffy, suit-and-tie-only affair, and they see your really cool jeans, and they think, this is somewhere I'd like to be, because you can actually dress like a real person. And a community - a family - flourishes and grows.

God's not up in the sky keeping tabs on how many Sundays you get to church and how many you miss. (Neither is our pastor, by the way.) And some Sundays, you won't be there. Illness happens - and I can verify that with my stuffy nose and cotton-ball-filled head right now. You go on a much-needed vacation. You have to work a weekend shift. Your car does one of these herky-jerky dances on the highway, and you spend your morning dealing with AAA instead of inside a sanctuary. It happens.

But staying away because life is getting overwhelming or too busy with other stuff calls for a readjustment of priorities. Believe me, I heard that loud and clear today when I realized that my incessant planning and obsessing over the upcoming arrival of my first child left me little to no time to hear that still, small, loving voice of the One I love most. Never mind, too, that taking an hour out of the busyness, even if you think you cannot spare one minute, helps to quiet and calm the chaotic heart and refocus back on Him, and all those other life things that pressed on you with unbearable weight are suddenly... lighter.

And I will only say this about listening to messages online in substitution for actual face-time with your church family: an MP3 player is no substitute for community. Never has, never will be. Imagine never hanging out with your closest friends, but promising to always listen to their voice mails, or look at their Facebook profiles for any updates. You get a paltry fraction of their lives, and they get... nothing. And a community feels the void and is that much less. The disconnect grows, you believe the lie more and more that you do not matter, your presence doesn't make any difference, and you stay away longer. Don't believe that lie.

It's just not all about you - it's about His bride, the church, and as imperfect and human and screwed up and plain messy as we the church can be, we need you. We miss you. We miss your interaction, your friendly smile, even just to hear that hey, we're having really crazy times in our lives, too, and thank God I'm not alone, we are going through this together, and He is always with us, too. Just setting foot inside the door and being there makes a difference, realized or not. Don't stay away any more.